Your Time.

So, I'm sitting in my car with a person who's not really there, Stan Bush blasting up my speakers. I miss my Dad, and I'm all alone today. I know I could have gone to the hospital with my Mom, but I'd rather cry in private. Sure he'll be alright, but I'm worried about our jobs. He might get fired.
As much as I hate that place, I'm grateful for a job for my father, mother, sister, and myself.
I could really use you right now Optimus Prime. I need you.

Love you,
-lulu.bell

Failure.

What is it exactly that drives us down the path of failure? What keeps us from finding help, even thought we are screaming it to the world?
I'm sick of being on the roller coaster. I was created to prosper, to live on a wonderful life, and all I am doing is letting my story's beginning suffer. The words that make my earliest memories are being erased, and I can't even remember them. I can barely remember anything before Sophomore year.
I keep ranting and whining about how I have lost so much and how I can't keep myself moving forward. I know I'm weak. I also realize that I can be an astounding leader, and I have to potential to rule the universe. I also see that I need help. Not simply with my teenage angst problems, but with overcoming obstacles and helping me see the best in life.
Yea, a boyfriend.
I feel tiny and insignificant, weak and naive when I say "I want a boyfriend." I realize that I sound like a little teenage girl, and it may not be a boyfriend necessarily, but I want SOMEONE. Yes, I have my family. Yes, I have my friends. I have guys crushing on me. I have drama.
I don't have that someone that I can be CLOSE to. Someone who won't leave me, who will be there, who can cuddle with me. I don't want a little teenage boy who wants some dirty... I want someone who loves me.
Love. What the hell do I know about love?
I know I love Cybertronians. I care for them. I'm loyal to them. I defend them.
So, what's the point of this blog? I like someone.
There.

Love,
-lulu.bell

Long weekend.

As always, I've been procrastinating on my homework that is now due tomorrow and I have two chapters to read as well as half of The Scarlet Letter. :/ History AND English AND an all-mighter. YAY.
Not.
Anyway, I've been thinking about school and how I only have three semesters left. I've also been contemplating life as we know it. Everything about the wold is changing and I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I'm growing up and I'm thinking about more complex things such as world domination.
Ha! That plan won't be brought into focus for a few decades. Don't worry.
But still, I think I just need to calm down a little bit.
Stop worrying, do my homework and play some Fable II.

Mixtape.

So I'm going to post all of my stories on this blog to start off with. I'm going to delete them from my fanfiction.net account soon because I do not like them. I wrote them early on and my writing was horrid at the time. Don't worry, you can still read them here if you really want to.

That's about all I have to say right now, so I'll get to posting them ASAP. Enjoy! :D

New Looks.

Hey, hey, hey! How's in hangin'? <--- BAD GRAMMAR! ACK! -Twitchy eyes-
What an intro today! You may be thinking what I've been smoking, but really I don't do drugs, I'm just high on life at the moment. Things couldn't get any better... well unless if Mom and Dad said I could go to BotCon this summer with Cameron and Michael. Yes, I have two people picked out, and now all I need is a girl to go along. Know me, interested go to mah Facebook, bitches!

Anyway, I wanted to tell you all that so many good things have been happening, and I just can't keep that bottled up inside. I've gotten new friends, true friends and I can't believe it. Also, this guy I've liked for years... likes me back. My entire life has been flipped. I keep telling myself "I wonder why" and I can't help but thank God for all of this. The Father has done so much for me as of late, and throughout my entire life, but this is completely new.

How have your lives been doing? Good? I hope so because I said so. HA!
I really don't have much to report as usual. PM me if you want to. :)

Love you,
-lulu.bell

Impossible.

Yesterday was exhausting due to All-State auditions. Being extremely nervous from 5am to 9am didn't help exactly. My legs shook the entire ride to Northwest. BUT! It wasn't too bad I suppose. I thought I would f**k it up, but I did better than expected. Oh, by the way, the audition was for double bass. :) So because of auditions I basically slept all day yesterday, and I'm feeling odd today. Not sure why though...

Another thing that's been happening is discussions about BotCon '11. I've been talking to my mom about it, and she says it's a good possibility. What the hell does that mean? Is it a creative way of saying "maybe, but probably not." I don't know. Yet, she said if I bring someone at least 18 years of age (and it'll probably be a boy so I'll have to bring another girl along. ...:/) with me, chances of going will be significantly higher. So, anyone I know who's reading and would like to go, Facebook me.

Other than those two things, school has just been school. I've lost A TON of friends, but I'm building more with each day that passes. At least I have that to go on.

Love you!
-lulu.bell

Transformations.

I can't see anything but blue. XP I sat out in the sun too long and then dashed inside. Hahahaha! Funnies.

So, I've been in another creative slump. I really want to drop out of high school, because I hate it, but I really want to get into Laurence. And become an English teacher... even thought I started a sentence with 'and'. XD

So, dear readers, what have you been up to lately?

While your thinking of something, I'll tell you how school has been going. Well, besides the fact that I hate it, it's really a good way to get high. I swear, the scent of drugs on everyone gets ME high. Then I forget where my next class is.

Eh, I'll figure it out sooner or later. Anyways. On to something other than school. I'm back into work, and I'll be finding another job soon. I either want to work at Nebraska Furniture Mart, Toys'R'Us or B&N. This way, if I can rake in some more dough, I'll be able to splurge (not really) at BotCon '11. Yes, I hopefully will be going next year.

Scratch that. I WILL be going next year. I'll walk if I have to.

Yet, I really have nothing else to report. I just felt like I needed to keep you guys caught up (even thought nothing has been happening.)

Love you!
-lulu.bell